Rain, rain, rain.
Since last night rain is falling non stop. I have a problem to take my dogs out. They want to go but they do not know that big rain is coming down outside and they are not going to get out if they see it.
The rain was needed. Drought was eating up all the water supplies in the country and even the longest river in Poland, the Vistula River, lost a lot of water.
I am going to stay home today.
Case with Andreas has been definitely closed. After all the hopes and thoughts about him changing into a serious person who sees life as a challenge, which can bring a lot of satisfaction, I decided that I was mistaken and my effort failed miserably. Yesterday afternoon he showed again that my worries about him were not baseless, that my first impression of him was right.
Yesterday, when he left my apartment about 1 pm, he said he will be back in two hours time. He supposed to bring a new mouse for my PC, a bandage for my leg and a computer programme, which supposed to help him in constructing of our web page. From the look on his face I knew he will not be back. Besides, he did not look me straight in the eyes when he was saying good bye.
About 30 minutes later I found him on GG and we started to talk. After few words I've noticed that his demeanor turned around 180 degrees and from a nice, calm and warm guy, all of the sudden, he became abusive and very angry. He kept saying some crazy things and was calling me names. He behaved like a 13 years old boy whose lack of reason makes him lose control. One can understand the lack of reason in 13 years old, but here, in front of me, was a 25 years old man…When I was reading his rants I realized that nothing was left in his head from yesterday when we were talking about him and about fixing his financial problems he put himself in. We were talking about putting our heads together and start making money. He even begun to construct a web page for our new business, which in my opinion, had a lot of chances to succeed if we would work hard enough.
None of this mattered to him at this moment. He kept throwing all the insults at me. I could not figure out why he was doing it? I knew I did not give him any reason. I was trying to employ all my life experience and come to some conclusions. The only conclusion, which kept coming to my head was, he is mentally unstable.
Because what kind of man is able to turn around in a span of half an hour, and from a nice and warm person become hate spitting monster?
I could not take it anymore and cut all the electronic connections with him. I blocked his GG number on my computer, I blocked him on Polish gay network and will not talk to him again. His credit has run out.
I also decided to cut off all the connections to the gay community. Most of the people here are insincere and gossip all the time. He is one of them, however, I know that the gay community in Warsaw sees him as a flake, as a crazy guy who can do or say strangest things. I even thought, when I have met him in December of 2004, that they may exaggerate. Knowing the gays in Warsaw, I thought, worse opinion of him I hear, better a man he might be. Perhaps he is too good and too straight forward and those guys do not like him because of his honesty. I was mistaken. All the stories I have heard about Andreas seem to be more or less true. As sad as it is I have to cut him out of my life.
I must focus on me and my career, whatever is left of it, and whatever chances for my come back I still may have I have to grab and turn into success.
I just realized that Andreas may do something stupid and try to gossip about me on the net or write a letter to my agent. Of course I won’t say a thing, at least not now. Let him do it. As sad a situation as it is I am not going to stop it. I think that as soon as I would try to squash all the gossip people would think that there is something to the story and I am trying to turn on the damage control. And again, as sad as it might be, I have to go on and do not look back.
