Dum spiro, spero.

The crowd there was young, kids in their late teens and early twenties. Some of the guys were very good looking, some of them average or less than average. I took the papers and went to the staircase where I hoped for a bit of silence. The short script I supposed to memorize was sort of stupid. It seemed to me that they wrote it for some soap opera or court drama nowadays so popular on TV.
When the Russian woman called me up I went into a small room filled with lights. A young man of about 30 years of age waited for me and when I entered he gave me a typical studio microphone and a transmitter, which I had to attach to my pants behind my back and a number attached to a microphone. I thought he marked me like a cattle, but I knew it was a standard procedure during the on camera auditions.

He took 6 pictures of me using a digital camera and when he was taking them he smiled with some sort of pleasure. I did not know why he was smiling but I did not ask. I am a pro and he is a pro so what the fuck, why should I ask him?
When he was done a young woman came in. She did not introduce herself and I thought it was sort of rude. After her few words she spoke to me I gathered she is a director who will be conducting the audition.
I was relaxed but concentrated on the tasks. I knew I would do a lot of emotional scenes and I needed to be deep in the mood of incoming doom.
She informed me that video camera will be on all the time. Big deal, I thought, let it run as long as you want. I can handle it.

My first improvisation was sort of easy. It was a fight between a man and his wife who was cheating on him and he just found out that she does it for a long time.
No problem there. The director played a wife and I did the husband. It went ok, however I could do better. Second scene went great, I was playing a man whose wife died in a car accident while he was driving. I supposed to tell the story to my friend and be falling in to pieces.
It took me about 30 seconds to go into the character and I did it all the way with crying real tears and sobbing and being gooey all the way.
Director liked it a lot.
The last scene was the scripted one and I did not like it at all. I did not memorize my lines well and needed to improvise. She was aware of it because I told her before we started the scene. It went well but not as well as I thought it should.
I felt tiered from the emotions I had to display. She thanked me and I gave her my record I made in USA. She accepted it and said that they will be looking for a job for me.
I hope she was sincere.
I know my audition was not bad and I show what I am made of. Too bad I had only 20 minutes to memorize my scripted gig but this was not bad and I am not going to agonize over it.
I know I was good, period.

Now I must wait until something will materialize. It is not going to be easy because I am old. Coming back to the stage after 26 years of hiatus is not easy.

I got home about 2:30 pm. On the way to a tram I called my sister abnd told her about the event. She asked me few stupid questions, which are usually asked by the people who has no clue about show business and think, that people who are in it are sort of mental cases. When I finally got home, I had to walk my dogs and when i came back home I had to check my e-mial. While doing it I found Andreas was on GG. I coneceted to him and when we talked he told me that he went to the Studios of WFDiF and got himself a contract for acting in some new production for TV. I wasn’t shocked. Andreas is a guy who has no talent whatsoever but will be pushing and trying to do the things, which people whom he knows do because it is their profession and they must do it because they aer born artists with a lot of talent. He reminds me of the young guys from The American Idol show who have no talent but some how think that they are at least as good as the Elton John or the Elvis Presley. I can only say that I laughed when he told me about his “contract” to become an actor (read; an extra) in this new, secret, as I found out later, TV series.
Later he came over to show me “the contract”. Indeed this was a piece of paper, one sheet, filled with a very small font and a signature of some woman and his John Hancock next to her in the end of it.

I can’t think about the answer, why does he do it? Why does he want to impress me or tries to show me that he can do as well as I in the profession he has no clue about, to be an actor or a singer, which he can't be at all? He just can't. He has not talent. He is as stiff as an Egiptian mummy, but he pushes and makes a fool of himslef. Why does he do it? Does he want to fit or something? I am not a psychiatrist. I saw his lack of talent and his total ineptness on stage. Why does he want to make a fool of himslef?
Oh well, let him be, but I am getting stronger and stronger hints that his mental capacity might not be in full throttle.

I’ll see what he will be doing on Monday when, according to him, he has another, final on camera, audition. I can’t believe that just in one hour he was able to overpass all the production people, wudition prople and managed to go straight to the directorial staff. No way Jose. He is an amateur like the thousands of other wannabe actors and on the top of it he has no talent…

OK, I won’t confront him with it anymore, I won’t ask him about the progress of his acting career Oh, he also told me that about 11 years ago, when he was 14 years old, he “performed in his junior high in some drama circle…” and this is his only acting experience he has…
My God, why I am even writing about it?
Why does he want to be all I am? Why he convinced himself that he can?
God have mercy on this young man.

Anyway, Andreas came over. We talked about his bullshit and I think he felt offended fo I confronted him with his obvious crappola. He left without giving me a kiss. He was pissed at me. So what, I can't let him do dumb things. I was tiered and went to bed early.

Today I woke up about 7 am. No, I did not wake up…Baby woke me with his morning whining. Since then I have tried to fall asleep again but can’t do it.