They called! The-book-reading-people called me last evening! I mean, one guy from the book-reading-people called me and we talked about the meeting. I played a very busy guy but…I; “found a bit of time today between 3 and 6 pm” and we are going to meet at the café in my hood. I did not know where this café exactly is but the guy gave me its address, which tells me that it must be not too far away from my house.
From our short conversation I deducted that they would like me to read one of the first novels of the “Harry Potter” series.
I am not sure, but the guy said they heard the sample of my “Harry Potter” reading, which I recorded last Friday.
Well, the book is about 500 pages long…If this is the first book they want me to read, and if the contract goes through, I’d be in seventh heaven.
This would mean I am going to make about few thousand dollars within 10 days.
Of course, as soon as I meet them I am going to convince them I am the best actor they’ve ever seen. On the other hand, I am a bit scared, because I have never done book reading before. I know, the days of being scared from trying something new and not believing in myself are over. I know that I am a very good actor!
My father is dead and I am an old, grown up man. He can’t come to me anymore and tell me that I am a waste.
My dad used to describe me that way every time, when as a young man, I was rehearsing and our house was full of music and my singing. I always did it when he was at work. But sometimes when I was singing in my room and my background music was loud I could not hear him opening the front door of our house and then, as soon as he opened the door, and heard me rehearsing, he used to scream; “shut up you moron and start doing something useful!”
He even kept telling me this when I was already climbing up the ladder of the show business and been named one of the most promising talents in the country. So, despite the obvious signs of my bright future as an actor and a singer, my father’s talk convinced me that I am nobody.
It stayed with me for the rest of my life.
But now, after 30 years, when my life is going fast toward its end and my father is six feet under sniffing fake flowers, which his wife, and my so called mother, brings often to his grave, even though she hated him for the most part of their marriage, I must rebuild my confidence and forget these two monsters.
I am the best!!!
I can do it!!!
I know I worth a lot of respect!!!
This is my mantra and I am not going to stop repeating it over and over again. I must believe in myself! And I will.
I have to admit that even though I know my sister loves me a lot she became the same coward as my father used to be. She does not see me as an actor or an artist. She sees me as a guy who is wasting his time. She remembers me from the time I was on stage. She even came to my theatre once to see me perform. Still, she seems not to understand anything of what I did and want to do again.
There are moments I see her as a simpleton whose life resembles a life of horse with blinds on. I know, such people are the salt of our existence and without them people like me would not be alive, but still, I am sort of disappointed that my sister deprived herself of the ability to smell proverbial roses.
I see people like her as a pavement for the people like me. We walk over them not seeing them and perhaps not even respect them, but I do respect my Sister and I love her! If not for her I’d kill myself long time ago.
I promised myself that all I do from now on, well, from few weeks back, when I kicked Andreas’ ass, I am going to do with iron conviction that I am the best!
I think that the-book-reading-people heard my Hitler and other characters I recorded last Friday, for I am sure Tom was selling me all the way. This also, if the contract will materialize, is going to be a great gig for him. A steady contract for who knows how long, which brings his studio steady income. I think that if they called me couple of hours after they heard all I have done last Friday, they must like what they heard.
I am good! I have to believe this because…
I AM VERY GOOD!!!
However, I can’t pat myself on the shoulder yet and say; OK, you got it, because I simply do not know if I will get it?
They called me and that means, perhaps they accepted Tom’s conditions and all his demands regarding his studio charges. Anyway, I am not going to write on the sand. I must look at this thing as it is just in making. This is just a business meeting and its outcome would tell me what’s going to happen in the near future.
I also have to remember, despite Tom’s pleas, that I MUST THNIK ABOUT MYSLEF!!!
If book-reading-people would like me to record in another studio, in Warsaw, I care less. I will go for it and tell Tom I did not get the job.
I will gladly record things for him and as soon as I will make enough money I would record my songs in his studio. After all, I know he is a businessman and thinks about his well being all the time. He even cheats on me regarding my pay for the recordings I did in his studio. Why than I should feel sorry for him if he won't get a contract from the book-reading-people?
